"I see you..."

So I went to see Avatar with some friends over the Christmas holidays. It's basically Pocahontas but with an aboriginal alien culture. In the world, everything is linked and connected and the Navi people understand that.

The one thing I really liked about the story is the phrase the Navi use to greet each other when something is important, or when they disagree with each other: "I see you." The writers take great care so you know that it doesn't just mean, "I see you with my eyes" but more like "I understand you," "I see into you," etc. In the film, no one ever countered that idea. "NO! Actually, you DON'T see me!" They accepted it and even if they disagreed, it was ok.

I really like the communal/personal interplay used in Avatar. People are individuals with their own talents, but everyone has to go through training and traditions to find their role in the society. The understanding is singular. "I see you..."

So often people end up feeling or being isolated. They feel like no one does understand them or see them. They feel misunderstood, or like they have to fit into a social guideline that they don't like or don't understand. So often, strong people force their will on people and don't take consideration for others. Even if they believe they are doing the right thing, it is the communal understanding that is important. "I see you... but this is my decision."

All over, in families, in politics, in work places, people fight to be the alpha. People want to be the one who makes the decisions. Fair enough, people like being successful. I'm not sure how many of these people are also considering the welfare of everyone else when they are planning the domination of the office or staffroom. How many are "seeing" into these roles?

In psychology, there are 4 main types of parents (read authority figures): neglectful, authoritarian (totalitarian), permissive, and authoritative (high expectations and some room for debate). The two dialectics coming into play is permissiveness and expectations. By far the authority figures who seem to have the best results are the authoritative figures who have high expectations for people but also listen to them and leave room for mistakes. They understand, but also train and guide.

I'm convinced that while this is the best kind of authority, it's also the hardest to come by. How many of us have our lives together enough to think about everyone else? Let's face it, so many of us are just trying to get by, it's hard to think about "seeing" other people. But really, how sad and lonely life is when we have to do everything on our own... when we are "getting by". What did the Navi community have, besides a technology free aboriginal and by the way fictional existence, that we are ignoring or lacking? I say it is the communal understanding, and in some cases, even the desire to understand or be understood.

How would our jobs and families, our friendships be if we could honestly look into the eyes of our coworkers and friends and say "I see you. I get what's going on. I understand. Let's do this..."? I think we should try to find out.